Thursday, November 8, 2012

Bauer 2016

We got it all wrong America...
Obama shouldnt be our Prez...
Jack Bauer should.
Obama couldnt get us out of this mess in 4 years, and perhaps he wont in the upcoming 4 years.
But Jack could have gotten it done in 24 hours.
Just sayin...


Here are a few things to keep in mind as well:
1. Jack Bauer once stepped into quicksand. The quicksand couldn't escape and nearly drowned.
2. The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.
3. Jack Bauer never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.
4. On Jack Bauer's Tax Returns, he has to claim the entire world as his dependents.
5. There are three leading causes of death among terrorists. The first two are Jack Bauer, and the third one is heart attack from hearing Jack Bauer is coming for them.
6. If Jack Bauer was president, he would protect the secret service.
7. Jack Bauer doesn't need to eat, sleep, or use the bathroom because his organs are afraid of making him angry.
8. Mission Impossible is just another way of saying Mission Without Jack Bauer.
9. Jack doesn't believe in Murphy's Law, only Bauer's Law: "Whatever CAN go wrong, WILL be resolved in a period of 24 hours."
10. Alex Trebek once asked Jack Bauer the question, "What's your idea of a perfect game show?" He replied with, "I'm the contestant and I ask the questions around here." Jeopardy was born at that moment.

Need I say more?

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3 comments:

Yesi said...

This is just one of the funniest things I have ever read! I'm sending this to my boyfriend because he is obsessed with 24. This will make his day so much brighter!

Thanks for your hilariousness!

xoxo Yesi <3

Dad said...

Jack Bauer President
and
Chuck Norris as Vice-President 2016!!

Carlie said...

Ha ha ha love it!