This week, I have the lovely Carlie from the blog, Life...Full of Stories.
She is super sweet and I am excited for you to get to know her a little better... Thanks Carlie!
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Guest Posting. It sounds kind of weird to me since this is my first time writing an actual post on someone else’s blog (I’ve shared recipes though, but I don’t feel like that counts)! I love blogging, so I am very excited to share. When Lauren asked me to Guest Post I was a little nervous-thinking things like, what if people don’t want to read it or I’m not witty enough? Luckily, I know my mom will read it no matter what. =) After Lauren gave me the topic of “How to Build Something” – so something like building a better marriage or doing a better date night, I was like I can do this! Now, I am no relationship pro, but I’ve learned a lot about myself while being married the past 3 years. So I thought I would share some tips of how we are trying to build a better marriage.
Let’s start with some background. My husband, Seth, and I got married while we were still finishing up our undergraduate degrees at BYU. After we both graduated, he wanted to do grad school. Fast forward 1.5 years, and we are in our 2nd of 4 years of law school at in Texas. Since he is at school all the time and I work, we rarely see each other. Monday-Friday we are lucky to get anywhere between 30 minutes and 1.5 hours a day (besides sleeping). So our time together is valuable.
We have talked to a lot of married people on the other end of law school (aka they have real law jobs now), and we have received lots of good and bad advice on how to do things (“get used to planning trips without your spouse” and “be independent”). So it definitely seems to me that the marriage advice never stops after you’re actually married. I am quite alright with that because I think there is always something we can improve on.
My hope is that things I write are building blocks. Take one or two and see if they fit into your relationship somehow (if not, give me advice on some of the things you do).
To build our better marriage, we are doing things like:
• Taking turns reading chapters out of the book called, How to Have an Affair-Proof Marriage – it focuses on making “deposits” into each other’s “love bank” – showing love and care builds the amount in our “love bank” accounts
• Nightly couple prayer and reading out of A Lamp Unto My Feet-Daily Reflections on the Old Testament (we have a couple of scripture books like that)
• Putting our phones/computers away during meals together-this one will always be a work in progress with new technologies coming out, but we’re getting better- I always used to check my computer while eating breakfast, and now I don’t.
• Going on walks, just the two of us, with no other distractions so that we can talk and share the happenings of our day
• Having a weekly date night (we like to use coupons and gift cards-we also have a thing going where we are trying to find the best burger and best taco in Dallas)
• Going to school events together-tailgates, dinners, meetings
• Sending each other emails/text messages throughout the day
• Saying “I love you”
• Smooching with at least one 10-second kiss a day (freshly brushed teeth are always a plus)
• Having activities/interests outside of each other so when the other is busy (ahem, Seth studying) the other has something to do (I am an Alumni Board member, work with the youth at my church, TV show watcher, book reader, etc.)
• Documenting the small things with blog posts, pictures, and emails to each other
Now we don’t have a perfect marriage, but our goal is to be there for each other and love each other, and the things above help us do that.
Now it is your turn! What is your advice for US? Tell me in the comments here or over on my blog here.
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PS Be sure to enter the giveaway here.
8 comments:
Thanks for having me Lauren! I can't wait to here what types of things other people do too!
Great advice! Who is the author of "How to have an affair-proof marriage?"
Willard F Harley Jr. It's a His Needs Her Needs Book.
I think you and Seth have such an awesome relationship...I
Always like reading about your fun dates!!
You and Seth definitely make the deposits in the love bank. You guys make time to be with each other and are very kind to each other. That is so important! That book sounds like a good read. I am enjoying the Steve Harvey books about marriage and relationships too. One of the things he says is that men need "the cookie." That was the advice my Mom gave me when I got married too...that is a priority for men. I like to dress up and look nice every day too, even when Dad is out of town. Some women get too busy and wear sweatpants and no make up all day. I try to look attractive...of course, the most attractive thing is a smile and happy disposition. You are so good at all those things! Glad you're enjoying the scripture books we gave you! Putting God first and family right up there with Him is the most important thing of all. You are doing wonderful things and strengthening all your family relationships (like doing the blog for many of us in the family who like to follow you). Love you! Mom
We do a lot of those things you mentioned, but we also try to be as polite as we would with a stranger. If we bump each other in the kitchen, we say "excuse me" or "sorry". If we do bodily functions, we politely say "excuse me" too. Familiarity is good, but can also go too far and you lose normal, humane habits and actions. :)
Another thing, you have to remember that both of you are individuals. You can't rule over each other. If someone wants to shave their head or wear clothing you may think its weird or remove a food group out of their diet, you have to remember "They are an adult and they can make their own decisions", as long as those decisions don't affect the family in a negative way. But you get what I mean.
You are an awesome blogger and I loved reading this. It's always fun to hear new ideas.
Hopefully you all got my reply emails! Thanks for the sweet comments.
Thank you!
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